Blizzard Beating Insanity
by Penderdragon
Summary: After the Blizzard Cataclysm Reassignment Meeting, the leaders of the Alliance and Horde are angry and decide to go to Blizzard HQ and beat the snot out of them. The one problem? Their journey is destined for insanity and hilarity. Abandoned.
1. Arrival

I don't own anything I may reference.

I will be putting a preview of a random passage from later in the fanfic at the beginning of each chapter.

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><p>In her room, Tyrande could feel her stomach rumbling. She had a secret guilty pleasure of steak, even with all of her radically environmental tendencies. looking in the motel phone listing she finally found <em>Pizza Hut.<em>

"One large steak pizza, please," she said frantically into the phone's mouthpiece.

_15 minutes later_

Twitching ever so slightly, Tyrande knew that if she didn't get her steak soon, she'd go completely insane. Just when she thought she couldn't go any longer, she heard a knock at the door. She ran at full tilt towards the door, ripped it off its hinges in an adrenalin-fueled frenzy, and grabbed the pizza. She was just about to close the door (forgetting it wasn't attached to its hinges) when she noticed...

"Malfurion? When'd you get a job at Pizza Hut?"

"Uh, I'm trying to pay off the thousands of years of online game subscription fees that racked up during when I was in the Emerald Dream," Malfurion answered sheepishly.

Rolling her eyes, Tyrande answered, " Okay, whatever, just come in."

_Meanwhile, in Gelbin's room_

"Okay... I'm in!" Gelbin said, an exhilarated grin on his face, sitting in front of a desk with a keyboard connected to a wall-sized computer screen with Varian, Vol'jin, Thrall, Cairne, Magni, and Lor'themar sitting behind him. He had just hacked into the motel's security cameras.

"So, who do we spy on first?" muttered Gelbin to himself, then tapped a few keys, connecting to the feed from Tyrande's room.

"Ewwww..." everyone in the room muttered, taking an unconscious step back. Then Gelbin asked the room at large, "Okay, are they kissing, or eating each other's tongues?" Then, zooming in on the pizza box, he asked, "Hey, wait a minute, is that a _steak_ pizza?"

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><p>"Stormwind noobs! I'll be back to listen to your pathetic begging in a couple of hours. I have to get going to the Blizzard Emergency Cataclysm Reassignment meeting right now," said Varian Wrynn, king of the human city of Stormwind. He was sitting on his throne in Stormwind Keep, with his son Anduin standing next to him, with a line of noobs standing in front of him. Standing up, he asked Anduin, "Can you deal with these noobs for a few hours? I really have to go."<p>

Smirking, Anduin said, " Sure," then turning to the line of people, he yelled, "Get the hell out of Stormwind Keep before I call an army of gnomes with flamethrowers and death rays!" And that pretty much cleared out the room in about ten seconds.

Then, after a proud smile, Varian walked out of Stormwind Keep all the way to the CSET ( Central Stormwind Earth Teleporter (prounounced SEE-set)) in the Trade District. As soon as Varian stepped through the portal, he felt like he'd eaten some of Velen's "eco- friendly earth cookies", because his vision blurred and colors swirled in front of him, and he felt a massive sugar rush. And when he landed he felt like he'd just fell from 80 feet onto a cube of gelatin.

_Record scratch._

_/cast Sanity/Humor Meter_

_Sanity: 1.277%_

_Humor: 98.723_

_ OK, I apologize, that sanity is like 20,000,000,000x more than it should, and I need to up that humor at least 1.276%._

_I'll fix it, I promise!_

_/blush_

Seeing another leader of the Alliance, Magni Bronzebeard, Varian held his hand out to shake, and said, "Hello, Magni." Magni responded by hitting Varian soundly on the head with one of his hammers.

"An' tha's fer bein' th' only racial leader Blizzard gave a unique model ta," Magni muttered.

Pausing only to think _"Dwarves!", _Varian looked around to see if any other leaders had arrived. When he saw no one, he turned to Magni and asked, "So, how's Gelbin doing?"

"Och, ye know, he's a gnome, said he didn't trus' the 'unreliable mage portals", tried ta constuct his own "spatial temporal-matter distorter or some crud like tha'."

As if on cue, a silver open cylinder shimmered into existence about five feet away.

"Ah, here I am," said a small creature inside the contraption. The creature was High Tinker Gelbin Mekkatorque, King of the Gnomes. There was just one small difference from normal. He was still about three-and-a-half feet tall (nothing new), but was covered in brown fur, with hooves and horns. He had become a teeny-tiny tauren... with a hot pink mohawk. He looked at himself, then a pad of paper.

"Oh.. no. Not again... I forgot to carry the one."

Then Varian asked, "Again? Wait, isn't this just like the time...?" But Magni cut in, "Nae, I believe it's more like th' time-"

"You SWORE you would never speak of that again!" Gelbin suddenly yelled.

Then, suddenly, Cairne Bloodhoof, Thrall, and Vol'jin phased into existence out of nowhere. Glancing at Gelbin, Cairne pumped his hands in the air and yelled, "YES! Mohawked tauren! I win! Pay up!"

"Ya, mon," Vol'jin said, rolling his eyes, "I know how much I be owin' ya." Looking over at Gelbin, he continued, "Hey, mon, isn't dis just like da time dat-"

"You SWORE! You swore you would never speak of that again!" Gelbin exploded.

As Vol'jin took about 250 gold from his pocket, Gelbin exasperatedly asked, "You were honestly betting on what would happen when I went through my teleporter?"

"We had a betting pool," Thall explained, pulling a coin pouch from his bag, "I bet that your head would grow out of-"

"And I bet ya arms would come outa ya ears," interrupted Vol'jin, leaving everyone with no doubt as to where Thrall thought Gelbin's head would grow out of.

Then, appearing in a purple haze, night elven high priestess Tyrande Whisperwind came into existence, arguing with thin air.

"I'll only say this once, Goblin Emissary Blastbolt, we will not accept your request for an alliance until you fix your mistake of using explosives and burning gunpowder that are releasing pollutants and carbon dioxide that are poisoning the earth, incinerating the ozone layer, and dooming all of Azeroth!"

Then, realizing how foolish she looked, she shut up, ducked away, and blushed. Or at least her cheeks turned a more reddish form of purple.

Suddenly an arrow whistled past Gelbin's head, which caused everyone to turn.

"Sheesh, can't an undead high elf who also just so happens to rule an awesome Horde race and has so much skill in archery she can shoot an arrow close enough to someone's head to trim their hair without so much as a scratch to the target get _any _attention around here?'

"When did you shoot an arrow so close to someone's head you trimmed their hair without a scratch?" asked Gelbin.

"Right now," Sylvanas Windrunner, Banshee Queen, replied, nocking back an arrow, and using it to cut off Gelbin's mohawk. Glancing at Gelbin, then Cairne, she asked, "So, how much do I owe you?"

After Cairne muttered, "250G,"(G standing for gold), Sylvanas reached into a coin bag, pulled her hand out empty, clenched it into a fist, and punched Cairne in the face, whispering into his ear , "You get nothing," just audibly enough for everyone to hear.

Just about then, looking as if he had just randomly walked in, with a blank look on his face, the draenei Great Prophet Velen appeared, wearing tie-dyed robes, a peace sign necklace, and lava lamp glasses. No, I am not kidding, he had two small, quarter-inch-thick, inch-and-a-half diameter cylindrical lava lamps attached to a wire frame and made into a pair of glasses

"Dude, this is like, totally like the time that... oh, dude, I'm sorry, dude, I forgot, I know, sensitive subject," Velen said, gesturing wildly at Gelbin, then apologetically shrugging.

Gelbin shook his head wildly, making odd gurgling sounds, but being thankful, at least, that he didn't still have his afro. The last time Gelbin had seen Velen, a raccoon, three bird families, and Gelbin's second cousin had been able to coexist peacefully in Velen's hair.

After an uncomfortable twenty seconds or so, Cairne broke the silence, saying, "Okay, I'll give 3:1 odds that when blood elf boy finally arrives, he'll be riding a pink or purple hawkstrider because he teleported five miles off target."

Smirking broadly, though still a mini-tauren, Gelbin asked, "What kind of odds would you give that Lor'themar is going to ride through the portal in exactly the right location, riding a Mechano-Hog, wearing a red Horde-symbol sleeveless T-shirt and leather jacket, looking so unbelievably awesome that it seems like the world's in slow-mo?"

Rolling his eyes, Cairne said, "You gnomes and your imaginations... That would never happen, zero chance, I will give you 10,000:1 odds on that."

"Sure thing. 20kG?"

Less than a second after Cairne nodded, Lor'Themar Theron, Regent Lord of Quel'Thalas burst into existence in exactly the right location, riding a Mechano-Hog, wearing a leather jacket and a red sleeveless T-shirt with a Horde-symbol logo, looking so indecribably awesome that the world seemed to be in slow motion.

"Heh," Cairne said, sheepishly, "so, um, twenty mil?"

Gelbin rolled his eyes, "It's 200 million, now give me my gold."

Grumpy, Cairne handed over a slip of paper.

"I don't take _checks_!" Gelbin said, miffed.

"It's _not_ a check!" Cairne said, indignantly, "It's a voucher from the First National Bank of Stormwind, I have an account there." While the Alliance leaders gaped, Cairne whipped out a cell phone and began talking into it superfast.

"I need to transfer 200 mil from my offshore Booty Bay bank account to the First National Bank of Stormwind ASAP. It has to be transferred now, if not sooner."

Magni was the first one to shake from his stunned stupor, swearing fluently as only a dwarf could.

"How th' boody hell did ye get an account in the First National Bank of Stormwind? Ye're a bloody Horde!" He punctuated this by hitting Cairne over the head with a hammer. In response, Cairne scratched his head and smiling just a little, said "But we all have accounts there! Me, Thrall and Vol'jin, Lor'themar, and Sylvanas, every single one of have accounts there. Why in Azeroth wouldn't we?"

As if just to make everyone pay attention to him, Lor'Themar punched Cairne in the gut, audibly whispered, "You get nothing," and used his shotgun crossbow to fire seven flaming bolts into the air.

Almost imperceptibly rolling her eyes, Sylvanas fired seven arrow in the air in about three point four seconds, one at each bolt. As each hit, it instantly extinguished the fire as a sheath of ice spread across it.

_Thunk!_(x7) _Crash!_(x7)

All 10 leaders listened as seven bolts covered in ice crashed to earth and shattered into hundreds of glittering shards of ice and wood. Lor'Themar and Sylvanas glared at each other for a full ten seconds, and then they both laughed.

"There was a reason, when I still lived, that _I_ was Ranger-General and _you_ were my second-in-command," Sylvanas said with the barest of smirks on her face, "And-"

"Yeh, yeh, we ge' it, ye're th' supreme archer o' th' universe," Magni said, hitting Sylvanas and Lor'Themar over the head with his hammers.

"Dude," Velen said unsophisticatedly, "like, chill out, you can't just keep, like, smashing people with your hammer." His eyes were unfocused, orange, and distorted through his glasses.

"Och, ye bonny boy, I cannae hit people wi' me hammers? Well, here's wha' I think o' ye!" Magni yelled, smashing Velen over the head with his hammer_s. _Both at once. As Velen slumped over, drooling, all eyes turned to Varian, who had let out a bloodcurdling scream.

His eyes changed, from kind to cruel, gentle to angry. He changed from Varian, gentle ruler of Stormwind and kind diplomat, to the ruthless gladiator Lo'Gosh. With no memory, Varian found in a swamp by an orcish gladitorial caravan. He had fought off a twenty-foot crocolisk using nothing but a stick, which was why the caravan had even taken him, and renamed him "Lo'Gosh" which was Taur-ahe for "Ghost Wolf".

Sceaming in guttural Orcish, Lo'Gosh charged at Thrall, his sword Shalamayne drawn. When a particularly crude and guttural war cry came, all the Alliance turned to Vol'jin and Cairne and asked, "What did he just say?"

"Varian just said dat Thrall should dive in a poola acid and die meltin'," Vol'jin said, a little grossed out.

"And what's with Varian? He went totally insane.." Tyrande commented.

"Don't you read the memos?" Gelbin asked, scoffing and looking incredulously at Tyrande. "Didn't you care at all about the story of Lo'gosh? Let's just say Varian has.. multiple personality disorder... and he will randomly switch between the paragon of all warriors and a total wimp."

Thrall dodged and ducked and weaved, having no blow dealt to him, but unable to deal any blows. After one more horrible battle cry, Lo'Gosh slashed Thrall's arm. It would have been useless if he had been wearing his usual black plate armor, inherited from Orgrim Doomhammer, but he had left the armor in Azeroth, as he hadn't anticipated battle, and he was wearing robes. Special robes as a matter of fact, ones he'd had specially made from frostweave cloth, decorated with a pattern of an ice-storm, a blizzard, specially for Blizzard meetings. It had cost him a massive amount of gold, and now the arm was slashed. Thrall began twitching, then yelled so loud, it shook the ground, saying "BURN IN MY THUNDER!"

Somewhat off-topic, Velen asked, "So, like, dude, what was that last, like, war cry?"

Cairne scratched his chin thoughtfully, "I am not sure I can say it in your language. Is there an English obscenity meaning "feces"?"

Grinning widely, Gelbin answered, "Actually, we have several, Would you like to know the most common?"

"Absolutely," Cairne replied, raising an eyebrow.

"_Twilight."_


	2. Perpill

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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><p>Here's this chapter's random scene:<p>

"I am the most powerful warlock in Earth or Azeroth. I can summon a demon lesser warlocks only see in their worst nightmares." The weird blood elf began summoning a demon. Everyone tapped their feet impatiently. Everyone yelled, "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SOUL BURN?"

Then, everyone recoiled in horror as they saw the demon summoned.

"OH, SHIT! IT'S DORA THE EXPLORER!

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><p>The effect was immediate. Everyone within about 20 feet began cowering in fear. Except Lo'Gosh who decided to do something different. He went up to Gelbin grabbed him by the horns and threw him straight up into the air. Just before he hit the ground, Lo'Gosh punted him ten feet forward. Just when Gelbin was about to recover, a sword was put an inch from his throat.<p>

"Never... say... that... word... again." Gelbin glared at him for a moment, kicked him with his little tauren hoof, and used the rockets embedded in his clothes to shoot out of Lo'Gosh's grip. he looked over and burst out laughing. His super-powerful tauren kick had dislodged a miniaturized, paperback copy of _Twilight_ out of Varian's clothes. Yeah, he definitely was no badass warrior anymore.

"I swear that that was a gift for Anduin."

"Nuh-uh. I already bought him the boxed set," Thrall said, smirking.

"THRALL! Why did you get him something?"

"Didn't you know it was 'Worst Enemy Appreciation Day' a few weeks back?'

"OH NO! I forgot. I even had a gift picked out. It was a subscription to "Gnome Punter" magazine," Varian said, unhappy.

"Oh, I canceled my subscription to that magazine since they stopped selling mail-order gnomes to punt, " Thrall muttered wistfully.

"Um... can I butt in?" a nerd asked, "I'm the Blizzard Emergency Cataclysm Meeting Representative.

"First off, Cairne, Magni, you're both fired. Thrall, you go to try and save the world and leave Garrosh in charge. We're introducing two new races, worgen for the Alliance and goblin for the Horde. Deathwing is back, and we're changing every zone in Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor except Eversong Woods, Ghostlands, Azuremyst Isle and Bloodmyst Isle-" and that was all he could get out before Magni bashed his brains in and Cairne cut him in half.

Rolling her eyes, Tyrande cast a resurrection spell.

"Our turn!" Lor'Themar and Velen said simultaneously. Lor'Themar began shooting arrows at about 3 per second just as Velen began strangling the Blizzard representative.

"Stop f**king killing the f**king Blizzard guy!" Thrall yelled, at the same time as he shot lightning bolts, frying the corpse. When the corpse was a blackened husk, Thrall finally realized what he was doing and hastily cast Ancestral Spirit.

"Uh, a-also, Tyrande, Malfurion wakes up from the Emerald Dream. And also, Gelbin, Vol'jin, gnomes and trolls finally get their own unique level 1-5 starting zone-" the Blizzard representative said, being cut off by Cairne lifting him into the air by the neck.

"So, _why_ exactly am I fired?" Cairne said, looking at the representative though narrowed eyes.

"Aye, an' me as well," Magni added, holding his hammers menacingly.

"W-w-well, uh, C-cairne, you ch-challenge Garrosh to a m-mak'gora, and he ag-grees on the condition th-that it is changed to the old rules- to the death!"

"Don't lie to me... I would win in that battle," Cairne said angrily.

"I can't tell anyone, you'll have to read the memo, and my name is Perpill, so stop referring to me only as 'representative or 'Blizzard representative'!"

Fine. I will call you "Perpill". So what's your last name?

"Uh, m-my last name is Potumiss. Perpill Potumiss," Perpill said, not used to the fanfction author talking to him.

Okay, Purple Potamus. Got it.

"MY NAME IS PERPILL POTUMISS! NOT PURPLE POTAMUS! I AM NOT A HIPPO!"

Okay, okay, no need to get huffy.

Perpill began distributing memos. The effects were immediate. Disgust spread through the crowd.

"I get killed by _Garrosh?_"

"Blood elf males _still_ are over-feminized? The only badass animation that blood elf males have is their laugh."

"Gnomes are _still _universally hated?"

"I ge' turned inta a statue made o' diamond?"

"I leave _Garrosh _in charge of the entire _Horde?_"

"Draenei are still, like, unchanged and still have a stupid, like, accent?"

"I leave da Horde wit only Garrosh ta lead it?"

"There is _still_ an estimated huge percentage of female night elf mailbox dancers?"

"Instead of freeing Scourge from the Lich King's command, I now reanimate them against their will?"

"I keep manifesting multiple personality disorder?"

Thrall summoned a dust cloud around Perpill. The was a series of loud noises, and one minute later, the dust settled and Perpill had an arrow in each eye, a smashed skull, was decapitated, was disemboweled, had a bomb strapped to his chest, was still sparking uncontrollably, was randomly turning into a frog and back, was still being strangled by Velen and smelled strongly of Discipline magic.

"GET BACK, VELEN, YOU F**KING IDIOT, THAT BOMB IS ABOUT TO BLOW!" yelled Gelbin.

Velen ignored him, of course, and was shot fifty feet away as soon as the bomb exploded. He fared better than Perpill, though, who was incinerated.

After a few minutes, Thrall and Varian thrust their swords into the air and yelled at the same time the feeling that everyone had.

"Let's go beat the crap out of Blizzard!" Both Thrall and Varian held up their weapons.

"Uh... Varian, seeing how you're Varian currently, it shouldn't be a surprise, but... you're holding your sword upside down."

"Uh, heh-heh."

"Come on..."

"I swear I meant to have my sword like that."

All nine of the other faction leaders said in unison: "Riiiiiiight..."


	3. Reinforcements and a Comatose Lich King

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Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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><p>Here's this chapter's random scene:<p>

Outside the R.V.'s crappy bathroom, Varian, Thrall, and Lor'Themar listened to Gelbin singing in the shower.

_"I'm a Barbie girl,_

_in a Barbie world..."_

Looking at each other meaningfully, Thrall and Vol'jin each pushed a button on their laptops.

"Too late," Varian said with a smirk, "I've already got it up on the Internet. Live feed, on my website:

"F**king s**t," Thrall and Vol'jin said at the same time.

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><p>"So, how do we get the message out to all the rest of the people who deserve to beat the s**t out of Blizz?" Cairne asked evenly.<p>

"Hmmm... How 'bout we start a forum, asking people if they want to, then brutally criticize the post? Everyone will read it then," Tyrande suggested.

"Yeh, well, we wan' people tae support us, nae think we're idiots, you moron," Magni said grumpily and bashed Tyrande with his hammer.

Then, pausing like he was thinking, he began counting, "One, two, three, four, five, and... six. All tha' I have left tae bash is th' gnome, Thrall, Vol'jin, and meself."

Incredulously, Gelbin asked, "You keep a tally of who you hit with your hammer? Wow..."

"Seven," Magni said, distracted.

"Seven...? Seven what?" Gelbin asked, just about two seconds before he got sent flying by Magni's hammer.

"Aye, seven."

"Let's just write up a list of people and ask them," suggested Varian, shrugging.

"Good idea," Thrall agreed, "I suggest Garrosh, because he'll hate that Blizzard took his honor."

"I've got an idea!" Gelbin said, "How about the previous most powerful boss in Azeroth, who will be super-angry that now he can be pwned by level 85 achievement farmers? I suggest the Lich King, what do you people think?"

A string of unenthusiastic "Whatever"s was his response.

"Anyone else?" Varian asked. "Okay, Hordies to Orgrimmar, everyone else, come with me to ICC."

"Um, I can save us Allies the trouble," Gelbin said, holding up his iPad. Emblazoned on the Azeroth News Weekly web page were the words, "Lich King in Coma Following Brutal Pwning by Public Test Realm Level 85's!"

"Whatever," Thrall responded, "Okay, Hordies to Orgrimmar."

After they left, the Allies stared at each other, until Velen broke the silence.

"So, like, which hospital is he at?"

"Um, that's weird, he's at an Earth hospital that... is... about 50 feet away."

_Five minutes later, at the _50 Feet Away From The Azerothian Transit Hub _hospital_

"Will he survive?"

"I don't know, I bought this medical degree on Ebay."

"What? You're treating a critical patient who happens to be the freakin' LICH KING, and they sent an amateur who bought his medical degree on Ebay? Oh, f**k," Gelbin said succinctly.

"Oh, I didn't operate. But the doctor is really ugly. I'm the face of this hospital, the PR doctor."

"More like the BS doctor..." Varian muttered.

"And he should be fine, but he's in a coma."

After the doctor left, Gelbin said, "Okay, in the room where Arthas is, there's a 103-inch plasma screen, let's watch _Star Wars._"

_Meanwhile, in Orgrimmar_

"I'm in."

"But we haven't asked you anything!" Thrall protested.

"Yes, I'm angry that Blizzard took away my honor, yes I'll help you beat the crap outta 'em."

"How the... oh, whatever... c'mon, let's go."

"Just a second," Lor'Themar whined, "I'm updating my Facebook!" Then, more quietly, "From _Relaxin' in Silvermoon _to _Going to beat up Blizzard at their HQ, anyone want to help?" _

They were just past the city limits when Lor'Themar stopped suddenly, checking his iPhone.

"I found us some more help! Let's see... There's the BC bosses, still whining about who they're under-appreciated... reject... Baine Bloodhoof... accept..."

"That's my boy!" Cairne said.

"Uh... b***h-moaning by an anonymous source... reject..."

Suddenly there was a flash of light, swirling energy, and the appearance of a badass who was most definitely _not _a b***h.

"_What_ were you saying about my post?"

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><p><em>Inside Arthas Menethil's comatose imagination<em>

**Azeroth Wars- ****Episode I**

**The Zombie Menace**

**In a galaxy filled with evil, treachery, and thinly veiled copyright violations, the Alliance has sent two Paladin warriors to negotiate with the Bilgewater Federation about some topic you don't care about.**

Filler Line

Filler Line

Filler Line

Filler Line

"Sooo... why exactly are we trying to negotiate with these goblins when we know it isn't going to affect anything?" Palawan Lor'Themar Kenobi asked.

"He knows that today's movie-watching population favors action and s**t like that over story, so George Lucas decided to put some big action sequences right at the start of the movie. This scene doesn't advance the story much, and we're just here to block energy arrows and destroy stuff with our lightaxe and lightsword," Paladin Master Cairne-Gon Jinn replied.

"That reminds me..." Lor'Themar muttered.

Then, he activated his lightsword and slashed through the door to the room they were locked in.

"Oh, noooo," Cairne-Gon said sarcastically, "Those droid-Scourge thingamabobs that the Bilgewater Federation continues to produce, ignoring their obvious flaws and everything.

"What were you saying?" Lor'Themar asked, "I was too busy killing all ten of the Scoids in four-and a-half seconds. Oh, by the way, the are super shredder droids coming and the script says we need to run away like wimpy cowards."

"Oh, I am going to _kill_ George Lucas." Cairne-Gon replied, rolling his eyes. "Fine-n-nn-n-n-n-n. Wai-ai-ai-t, what-s-s-s-s-s happen-"

Suddenly their reality began to collapse. Within seconds, their world had blacked out. Arthas was waking up...


	4. How Does That Fking Make Sense

I own nothing.

Now, I thought I'd tell you... my characters operate under what I call "fanfiction time". Basically, even though they continue the same story, time progresses at its normal pace. Also, I won't be writing random previews anymore. Sorry.

Now, for the randomness!

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><p>"Raargh!" Arthas yelled as he jumped off his hospital bed, grabbed an imaginary sword, and promptly fell over, still injured. Despite the fact that he was currently flopping helplessly on the floor, he yelled, "How dare you watch any of the ridiculous Star Wars prequel trilogy! It intruded on my dreams! I will kill you all! Hey, wait a minute, why are you people here?"<p>

" Okay, first of all, calm down. And second of all, we are starting an expedition to California to beat up the people who decided to ruin our lives in Cataclysm," Gelbin answered, "Also, please forgive my Star Wars mistake.

"Um, didn't that get implemented over a year ago?" Arthas asked.

AAHHHH!

,lp.;/'-p8uijk35rtyhjkl;nbjhbhjvbgvgycdrxdrvik;,llmjnuyfrtrttghu;kljkhufdtrdt

*DZZT!*

"I would truly _love_ being able to kick Blizzard ass, but I am currently incapacitated, and Holy-type healing spells just hurt me even more. Do you guys have any other ideas?"

After looking around a moment, Tyrande glared at every other person in the room.

"Wow, you people aren't very smart," she commented. After another few seconds of staring, she rolled her eyes, healed Arthas to full, and said with a smirk, "Resto, b**ches."

Because he secretly didn't want to participate in the raid, Arthas quietly muttered, "Damn alternative healing methods." Then, louder, "How will I get out of here? Who'll pay for my bill?"

With a flash of ghost wolf in his eyes, Varian asked in low voice, "You don't have, i don't know, insurance, maybe?"

"I'm a video game character, and I'm _undead. _Do you think I expected to be injured?"

"Qui' yer b***chin' and leave i' tae me," Magni said in an exasperated voice. He grabbed Arthas, hit himself in the forehead with his hammer, and somehow flew through the air, sailing out of a window and screaming, "EIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"

Everyone looked at each other in shock, and Gelbin put it as eloquently as anyone could have: "How is that f**king possible? It breaks so many laws of physics, I'm not even going to talk about it. But anyway, let's go get Arthas' arms and armor and get the hell out of-oh s**t! Hospital commandos!"

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><p>"Um, hi, Jaina. How are things?" Lor'themar asked sheepishly.<p>

"Oh, you know, little, no, or negative recognition in-game, getting my lovelife screwed by Blizzard, getting rejected by my fellow open-world raid bosses, stuff like that. Now, seriously, let me come with you, or I will shove my quarterstaff up your ass and shoot a fireball out of it. I am not kidding," Jaina Proudmore threatened.

"Wow, I had no idea she was such a badass," Garrosh commented, which caused Jaina to turn and face him angrily. After a few moments of glaring, she finally muttered, "Might do it to you anyway. Now, I believe you were returning to the 50FAFTATH hospital, so c'mon." She quickly cast a portal spell, stepped through, and ended up in a battlefield.

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><p>Sorry for the short chapter and 7-month wait, but I have an important notice. My stories are up for adoption, as you may have already seen. To make a long story short, indefinitely, I will not be writing any more fanfiction. The full details are on my profile.<p> 


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